Don'T Call It Over

White cloth rising.
Caught on a nail.
Somebody frees it.
It hangs there pale.
Nobody fires.
Thank fuck.
Thank God.
Air comes rushing
Back through my teeth.
Didn't know how long
I'd forgotten to breathe.
Hands above the wall.
Rifles in the dirt.
For one whole second,
Nothing on me hurts.
Want to laugh.
Nearly do.
Then the heat comes up
And burns straight through.
Now you stop.
Now you're done.
Now those hands rise
Out of the smoke.
Jaw pulls tighter.
Barrel stays raised.
Man beside me
Pushes it away.
I let him.
Look at that cloth.
Watch for the trick.
Don't let tomorrow
Get into this.
Don't call it over.
Don't call it peace.
Still got the battle
Caught in my teeth.
Count who's standing.
See what we need.
Don't call it over.
Stay here with me.
Names through the headset.
Answer.
Then wait.
One voice twice.
One coming late.
You check the wounded.
I'll check the rest.
Who can still walk.
What's still left.
Water passed forward.
Magazines checked.
Someone starts talking
About heading west.
We could make that.
We could move.
Something in my chest
Finds a little room.
Almost a smile.
Almost a breath
That doesn't feel borrowed
From somebody's death.
Then tongue finds tooth.
There's an edge missing.
Jaw bent sideways
Where the strap's bitten.
Unclip the buckle.
Can't hear it fall.
Your mouth keeps moving.
Can't hear much at all.
Don't call it over.
Don't call it peace.
Still got the battle
Caught in my teeth.
Count who's standing.
See what we need.
Don't call it over.
Stay here with me.
Someone lifts a jacket.
I know that sleeve.
Been watching that shoulder
For most of the week.
Kept thinking behind me.
Kept thinking close.
Turn to tell him.
Already know.
That breath I enjoyed.
That second of light.
Want to put it back.
Want to get it right.
Nothing to put back.
Nowhere to send
All this relief
With him at the end.
Across the broken wall,
One of theirs kneels.
Keeps straightening a collar.
Keeps checking what's real.
Same stupid gesture.
Same useless care.
Making him comfortable.
Nobody there.
His hands won't settle.
Neither will mine.
Can't find the border
Looking down that line.
White cloth hanging.
Not moving now.
Thought it would feel
Different somehow.
He looks toward me.
I look away.
Still got his rifle.
Don't know his name.
Can't hold all this.
Can't hold it yet.
What's next.
Road past the orchard.
Wall on the right.
Distance to cover
Before we lose light.
Give me a number.
Give me a task.
Something with edges.
Something that lasts.
Breathe through the nose.
Let the shoulders drop.
Fix on a fencepost.
Wait for it to stop.
Moving in my vision.
Moving in my chest.
Put both hands
On what's coming next.
You turn toward me.
Looking for the ground.
I make my face
Something you can stand around.
No terror showing.
No shake in the word.
Swallow the rest
Before it gets heard.
Point toward the orchard.
Meet your eyes.
Already counting.
Already outside.
Don't call it over.
Don't call it peace.
Still got the battle
Caught in my teeth.
Count who's standing.
See what we need.
Don't call it over.
Stay here with me.
White cloth hanging.
Caught on a nail.
Wind gets under it.
Still looks pale.
You touch my shoulder.
I turn straight through.
Move.