Feed the Belt

Okay.
yeah.
that's a good spot there.
Give me a fresh barrel.
Fresh barrel
while you clean
the other one.
Pull it through.
Again.
Lots of pull throughs.
Two boxes on the move.
Line hot.
Not yet.
Then why do
I hear it.
Yeahhh.
Something in the room ticking.
Something in my hand twitching.
Don't look at
it too long.
Feed the belt.
Don't feed the thought.
Short burst.
Don't lose the plot.
Slow rate.
Keep it locked.
Rapid rate.
That's when it talks.
Feed the belt.
Don't feed the thought.
Fire.
Fire.
But don't get caught.
Room too quiet,
metal too clean,
Oil on the rag,
bad thoughts in between.
Fresh barrel cooling
on the table
like a spine,
Old barrel smoking
like it knows what's mine.
Pull
through cloth runs black
with the past,
Every stroke slow,
every memory fast.
I'm not in combat,
but my chest don't know,
Heart keeps marching
where the old wars go.
Short burst for the panic.
Long burst for the shame.
Slow rate
for the part of me
that still says names.
Rapid rate in the skull
when the lights go low,
And the belt keeps feeding
what I won't let show.
Don't feed it.
Don't feed it.
Feed the belt.
Don't feed the thought.
Short burst.
Don't lose the plot.
Slow rate.
Keep it locked.
Rapid rate.
That's when it talks.
Feed the belt.
Don't feed the thought.
Fire.
Fire.
But don't get caught.
I hear links rattle
when nobody moved,
Hear the bipod scrape
in an empty room.
Mechanism clean
but the mind still jams,
Frozen little click in
my trigger hand.
Fresh barrel ready,
old one cold,
Two boxes stacked
like stories untold.
Every round a reason,
every pause a test,
Every silence presses on
the left side chest.
I know the rhythm,
but the rhythm knows me.
It comes back
whispering in threes,
Short burst.
Long burst.
Slow rate.
Rapid rate.
Four little doors in the
back of my brain.
One opens calm.
One opens pain.
You said you control it.
But it knows your name.
You said you buried it.
But it feeds the same.
I don't fear the weapon.
I fear the
part of me
that listens.
Feed the belt.
Don't feed the thought.
Short burst.
Don't lose the plot.
Slow rate.
Keep it locked.
Rapid rate.
That's when it talks.
Feed the belt.
Don't feed the thought.
Fire.
Fire.
But don't get caught.
Head pounding hard
like a war drum snap,
Trigger finger tremor
but I pull it back.
Teeth still cracked
from the place I left,
Tongue cut deep
when I taste
that debt.
I'm not dangerous
I'm weaponized.
That's what I say
when the room gets quiet.
But truth sits heavy
when the lights go black,
A weapon don't choose what
it can't take back.
LMG rhythm in the
wall clock beat,
Short little ticks
under heavy heat.
I count the seconds till
the urge walks by,
I let it pass
and I don't ask why.
Inside smile.
Justice served.
Soul aligned.
But the nerve still burns.
Short burst.
Don't feed it.
Long burst.
Don't need it.
Slow rate.
Stay with it.
Rapid rate.
Don't give in.
Short burst.
Long burst.
Slow rate.
Rapid rate.
Fire.
No.
Fire.
No.
Feed the belt.
Don't feed the thought.
Short burst.
Don't lose the plot.
Slow rate.
Keep it locked.
Rapid rate.
That's when it talks.
Feed the belt.
Don't feed the thought.
Fire.
Fire.
But don't get caught.
Feed the belt.
Don't feed the thought.
Fire.
Fire.
But don't get caught.
Fresh barrel cold.
Old barrel clean.
Room still quiet.
But I know
what I heard.