One In White

One in white.
That ain't me.
Look again.
That ain't me.
There's a version of me
who came home clean.
Saved a kid
in a doorway.
Washed the blood
from the scene.
Shook the right hands.
Said the right grace.
No red in the lines
of his pressed up face.
He sleeps through the night.
He don't check the locks.
He don't hear the tick
in the back
of the clock.
Mirror holds him up
like a man
I should be.
Says,
Look at him now.
That's your soul clean.
That's your soul clean.
That's your soul clean.
But I know
what it cost
to come home that white.
Same cold hands.
Same black night.
Same old dirt
under holy light.
Same man smiling
like he won that fight.
One in white.
Is my soul clean.
Cleanest man I know
is the worst
thing I've seen.
One in white.
No stain shown.
But the collar hides
what the mirror won't own.
Same grin.
New skin.
Medal bright
with the dark built in.
One in white.
Is my soul clean.
Ask what's buried
underneath that sheen.
Pull the collar back.
Strap line's there.
Old pressure carved
under perfect hair.
Field on his neck.
Ghost in his jaw.
Clean little smile
with a dirty little law.
He saved who he saved
by becoming the thing.
White on the outside.
Red in the ring.
You want the clean man.
That's a coat of paint.
Scratch him one inch
and you find the saint
was the killer
in a Sunday shirt.
Soft clean hands.
Same old dirt.
Same old dirt.
Same old dirt.
One in white.
Is my soul clean.
Cleanest man I know
is the worst
thing I've seen.
One in white.
No stain shown.
But the collar hides
what the mirror won't own.
Same grin.
New skin.
Medal bright
with the dark built in.
One in white.
Is my soul clean.
Ask what's buried
underneath that sheen.
White don't mean clean.
White means covered.
White means quiet.
White means suffered.
The clean one lies
with his eyes wide open.
The dirty one knows
what the white one's holding.
I don't trust bright.
I don't trust grace.
I trust the line
that stayed on my face.
One in white.
Is my soul clean.
Cleanest man I know
is the worst
thing I've seen.
One in white.
No stain shown.
But the collar hides
what the mirror won't own.
Same grin.
New skin.
Medal bright
with the dark built in.
One in white.
Is my soul clean.
Ask what's buried
underneath that sheen.
One in white.
That ain't me.
Look at the collar.
Look underneath.
White don't stay white.
Never did.
Look at the collar.
Look what it hid.